Sunday Sermon

Tonight on my way home from my mother's house I said, fuck it, I don't feel like making an entry tonight, and if I did it wouldn't be a very good one. I then reminded myself that I made a commitment to doing this once a day for at least a year. I wanted to get the thoughts crowding up my head into the open where I felt they could breathe. I also wanted to, in some way, hear my own voice, even if nobody is listening. I keep saying the same thing to myself over and over again; "This is your life, so stop waiting for it to start." I have to do something, life isn't going to start when I find a boyfriend, when I lose 20lbs, when I choose a career. Life is passing me by and I'm staring longingly at it; like living is something I forgot how to do. I don't know where along the road I lost the vivaciousness I had as a younger adult but by god I'm going to try and find it again, because I can't let the days go by just getting by. I want to Live again.

(And I'll make up for all my mopey-ness tomorrow with a very sexy Man Monday)