REINVENTION

I've been thinking a lot about whether or not I'm making any progress on this path. I have a swirling misty image of how I want things to be and yet when I look for direction, just to determine what next step to take I find myself lost.  I look towards money. Got to follow the money right? It is certainly the most tangible thing that can get me where I want to go.  Yet how to make it? If I throw real muscle into my current position I risk damaging a personal and professional relationship that has always been good to me.  If I continue to stay in the comfortable safety of the service world I risk merely getting by and making no headway. I look towards my support system. Sometimes they're supporting me, sometimes I'm supporting them, but no one shares my vision I truly think. No ones inspires the fire in my belly I need to make great changes.  More realistically they inspire my fears of being stuck, of being lost, of being dependent and of being too afraid to do anything about it.  But it's not their fault they truly love me and those fears are bred merely out of my perceptions of their problems, and my guilt of not knowing how to help.  I need LOVE. I crave LOVE. Someone once told me you have to ask the universe for help. You have to open your mouth and say " I can't do it all alone" and this is me saying it. I need the type of love that feeds the fire within. That makes you jump up in the morning, and wraps around you at night.  I know within in me is a powerful force that can achieve, create, awe, and inspire, but I need a reason to feel it.  I need a love to make the world a better place.