MELANCHOLY

Ten days have gone by without a single post, and if anybody reads this thing they're not as upset about it as I am. I started writing this blog to express myself, to share my thoughts and feelings, and to follow through on a goal, but like all things I let life sidetrack me sometimes. I don't want this experience to end up on the shelf with unfinished paintings, half used diaries, and only partially read books. I do have a lot going on in life now, a second job, and even more responsibilities at the first, a remodeling project for someone I am deeply committed to seeing through,  a car that's been recently resurrected yet still has problems, and a roommate that on the daily seems to be headed to Chernobyl style meltdown. I think that only slightly grazes the surface. Through it all what I'm really struggling through is finding my happiness. It has to be somewhere. I like my jobs, I love my friends, I value my alone time, but where is my Happiness? Why can't I greet the day with a joy that makes me want to run out and conquer the world? In 28 years I've never seen the life I want so clearly, and I don't want those dreams to be wrapped tightly around a single person, so why do I need someone else to stroke the fire?  I know I can do anything in this world, I just know I can't do it alone.

And here's some pictures for your trouble.